Doing The Malema

A week does not go by without a sound bite from South Africa's foremost mental defective, Julius Malema. As president of ANCYL, or African Numpty Congress Yoof Luddites, one would assume that keeping a high media profile is part of the job description. Unfortunately for Julie Baby, no-one told him that in order to look intelligent and sound profound you actually have to have something that passes for grey matter. That mouldering lump of cosmic pus that passes for his brain hardly qualifies him to postulate on matters economic. In fact he barely qualifies for the role of retarded child screaming in an insane asylum which is pretty much what he resembles.

From his vacant "I am dumber than chicken shit" look to his inability to string together a coherent sentence, Julius epitomises South African politics as it has always been. From the time the National Party took power in 1948 all the way up to today we have been forced to endure a level of stupidity than gives syphilitic donkeys a run for their IQ. This, of course, explains why the average South African is a rude, brainless, self-absorbed asshole. They just have to look at their role models to realise why nothing will change in this country.

Take a drive along any South African road and you will see the result of decades of in-bred imbecility. Faced with a 4-way stop, the average SA motorist adopts a "damn the torpedoes" stance that ensures ER doctors countrywide are kept busy. The same applies to a South African with a gun. It's like giving the keys to the treasury to Carl Niehaus. It shouldn't be done. Ever. There is way too much "point and shoot" going on around here to warrant the notion that a firearm in the hands of a South African is a safe bet. In fact, the following is a list of licenses that South Africans should be denied:

• Drivers license - When South Africans turns 18 they are suddenly allowed to drive, drink alcohol and vote. They should be banned from engaging any of these things.
• Gun license - Guns don't kill people, South Africans do.
• Marriage license - The family that beats wives, abuses children and gambles away its life savings together is probably South African
• Poetic license - If you have ever had to suffer through a reading Jeremy Cronin's pig swill, you'll understand.

So South Africa continues to suffer through the day-to-day Malemaing of its citizens. It explains why things around here are in the state they are.